4th Floor

"But you have to be straight up with them or else the love or your life could walk out of the door. That is why people got married so young, because they were honest with the people they liked. They were able to be a man."

I said that to someone yesterday and I thought it sounded pretty legit.
Maybe I should write a book one day.
Of course I will write a book on history when I become a professor, but I think this whole real life needs an adjustment and I would be honored to tell all young teens that this whole idea of a fantasy doesn't exist.

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I don't know if other people have them but whenever things in my life are not going okay, I have a reoccurring dream. Maybe it's what I eat before bed, stress or even it really is connected to my feelings but it goes something like this every time.


First off I'm in a large city, somewhere I have never been before though. For some reason I need to get back to this apartment that I have never been to, but it seems so familiar so maybe I live there or something. I'm coming from shopping normally and I take a shortcut through this small passage with sketchy pealing paint and a doorman that looks more like a rapist. I come to the elevator only to get on thinking that I press the 4th floor (every time it is the 4th floor) but the elevator isn't working. I press again and the doors open to an apartment that looks just like the one I'm going to-- no door just the apartment, but this one isn't mine. I get confused only to return to the elevator to find 2 more people waiting for me. This time the elevator rattles as it goes to the basement that only has one door with wooden planks on it. We close the elevator doors. At this point I'm scared. We then try one more time to make it to the 4th floor but this time, the doors open and the elevator is the only thing left standing as the entire apartment building is in flames and demolished. I then wake up. I have never made it to the 4th floor even though I have been there numerous times.


Inception must be my reality.
If anyone can tell me what this means I would be more than happy to listen.

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My life is a mess.

Oh it’s safe to say I knew it, yeah I knew it all along
Asking the same questions, singing the same songs
I’ve been gone for a while, been traveling along

Searching for a new life when I already had my own 
So walk back home on every road

On every road we cross alone
We’re thinking of those we left back home 
So follow the line and I’ll be your guide
Cause we’re the luck ones
On every road

Yeah it’s safe to say I knew that all the selfish things I’d do
Would eventually come creeping back around 
Oh way back when you called me young, said we’re innocent and dumb
I knew that you’d come creeping back around again
So walk back home on every road
On every road we cross alone
We’re thinking of those we left back home
So follow the line and I’ll be your guide
Cause we’re the luck ones
On every road...

--The Maine